4 Relationship Locks: Key #2

Be aware of those who are suffering

Dukha

Yoga sutra 1.33

Be aware of those who are suffering

Dukha

Yoga sutra 1.33

We know our coworkers, our neighbors, our acquaintances. We may not know everything about them, but we know their daily stuff, their personality, their quirks. We know enough. Which means, we know when something is up. Perhaps they are quieter than usual. Perhaps they are trying hard to be funny, or more short-tempered than usual.

Yoga has some wise advice for us: Be aware of those who are suffering. Notice that there is no action being asked of us. We are to simply notice when our daily people seem a bit off. We are to bear witness.

This also means we need to be aware of something else: our own reactions. Everyone has a “reaction type”. Maybe you tend to shake your inner head because people shouldn’t act that way. Maybe you find yourself getting short-tempered. Maybe you immediately go into advice mode. Whatever your “reaction type” is, yoga says it’s a lock. If we are unaware of our reactions, we get locked into them.

And the key? Be aware of those who are suffering. Be aware of your own reactions. A friend of mine told me it’s sometimes called “holding space”. You notice that something is up, you hold back your own reaction, and you bear witness.

When you really think about it, that seems like a pretty loving thing to provide someone. You are seeing them - really seeing. You see their whole, perfectly imperfect humanity and you stay the course.

Until next time,

Laura