What are your happiness hijacks?
The 5 Kleshas
This past weekend, I was happily playing a board game with friends when whammy - my happiness was hijacked. Our friends were learning the game and my husband made an early game move that would pretty much guarantee him the win. Being a teacher, I don’t believe it’s best-practice to slaughter someone the first time they play a game. Plus, I’ve lost to my husband enough times to know what it feels like. I shot him a look, which he clearly received but ignored. Seriously?!
Unhappy over a game - silly, right? But it happens to all of us! I’m not describing moodiness, I’m describing real life. Yoga philosophers of old talked about real life as being full of little tugs and pulls on our happiness. So how can we stay grounded and somewhat upright? Yoga’s advice is to be aware of the 5 Kleshas:
Avidya is the iceberg-tip hijack. It hijacks our happiness by seeing the small picture instead of the big picture. We find ourselves irritated because we momentarily forget that what we are seeing is only the tip of the iceberg. “I can’t believe she got the promotion - she has all the luck.”
Asmita is the hand hijack. It hijacks our happiness when we feel the need to put up a strong hand to defend ourselves or the world. We find ourselves feeling confused or discredited when someone doesn’t see the world the way we do. “I shouldn’t have to apologize because it was the right thing to do.”
Raga and Dvesha are the holding-on hijacks. They hijack our happiness through attachments and memories - good or bad. We find ourselves a bit agitated because we are unsettled by a memory or not wanting to be pushed out of our comfort zone. “Of course I can’t find anything good on this menu - I wanted to go to my favorite restaurant” Or “Of course I can’t find anything good on this menu - I don’t like this kind of food.”
Abhinivesha is the wall hijack. It hijacks our happiness through our fears and self-preservation. We find ourselves anxious and wanting to build an emotional wall. “I can’t believe I said that in front of my coworkers - can I even show my face on Monday?”
We take back our happiness by naming our hijack. Mine was ¾ Asmita (my way to teach is the right way) and ¼ Dvesha (I know how it feels to lose). Through the process of naming our hijack, we are also stepping out of the situation and being honest about feeling a bit unhappy in this moment. And then we breathe and reground ourselves, because it’s both normal and ok for humans to feel a bit unhappy.
(Modern psychology is also amazing. If we can’t name our hijacks, or if we can’t let go of one particular hijack, or if we can not reground ourselves, counseling is there to step into the process with us.)
Being aware of happiness hijacks is like having a tethering rope, helping us through the tugs and pulls of real life. Here’s to staying somewhat upright!
Until next time,
Laura
Want more?
Pulling Back the Curtain on our Sufferings (Trail Talks)
Take the road less… annoying! And suffer less. (Trail Talks)
Yoga is all about sweating the small stuff (trail talks)
