Putting Yourself into a Loving Mood
Cultivating connection through the Niyamas.
When we are able to stop and really connect with our people, it feels like…ahhhhh. Not a dreamy “ahh” where every evening feels like a romance movie. Not a gold star “ahh” that leaves you feeling like the perfect parent. This “ahh” is more like relief - a letting go. When we spend a few minutes looking in someone’s eyes and really listening to them, we loosen our grip on our own plans/worries/thoughts. Ahhhh.
I love this empowering idea of putting myself into a loving mood instead of waiting for someone else to do it for me. But how do we get ourselves there?
One way is to take a few minutes to become body aware. These practices teach us how to feel present. A few silent moments tasting warm tea and noticing how it feels in the body. Shutting the door and dancing to a favorite song - especially one with a good memory attached. A few minutes with a warm or cool scented towel over the eyes. Choosing one muscle group to roll while listening to calming music. For me, it means moving my body (walking, hiking, yoga…) As I move, my whirlwind thoughts slow down and I focus on my breathing. The more present we feel in our body, the more we can be present for our people.
Another approach is taking a few minutes for reflection. Meditation, prayer, writing, therapy, selfcare podcasts/blogs… These practices teach us how to reflect and observe ourselves. Not in a “how am I measuring up” kind of way, but in a “lovingly shaking our heads at how human we are” kind of way. How freeing to take a few minutes to shake our heads and giggle at our humanness! Some days we may even be able to free ourselves enough to shake off the feeling of perfection (which is really the feeling of separateness in disguise.) After taking a few moments to recognize and accept our humanness, we can more easily accept the humanness of our people.
What we are doing is taking yoga’s 5 Niyamas and applying them to our relationships. Having the empowering desire to put ourselves into a loving mood (instead of waiting for someone to do it for us) is Tapas. Using the mind/body connection to clear our thoughts is Saucha. Reflecting and observing our humanness is Savadhyaya. And that “ahh” that comes from connecting with our people? That’s Santosa. There is one Niyama left - Isvara Pranidhana - which is love itself.
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Connecting with the Heart Chakra
