When it comes to big hurts, we need some empowering advice.

Pratipaksha-bhavana

We often think of yoga life advice as all zen and nurturing, but not pratipaksha-bhavana.  This piece of 2,000-year-old advice is down-right empowering!  

When someone does something mean to me, my first human reaction is to do the same thing back at them.  Of course I know this isn’t healthy and I try to resist.  Sometimes I’m unsuccessful.  (My teenager’s sarcasm is a tough one for me.)  Many times I can ignore the behavior, and we all move on.  But big hurts require better advice than just “ignore”, and that’s where pratipaksha-bhavana comes in.  It says that when someone does something hurtful to us, we should empower ourselves by doing the opposite.  

If someone really hurt you by talking behind your back, you actively work to never do that to this person.  Every time you stop yourself from talking behind their back, you are reminded of what they did to you.  But you are also reminded of your commitment to do the opposite.  Its empowering.

If someone really hurt you by choosing to not believe your words as truthful, you actively work to always listen to that person’s words from their point of view.  Every time you stop yourself from making assumptions and decide to ask them questions instead, you are reminded of the hurt you felt when they didn’t believe you.  But you are also reminded of your commitment to pratipaksha-bhavana.  It feels empowering.

If you choose to break off that relationship, you can still practice pratipaksha-bhavana.  If someone really hurt you by withholding support when you were going through something hard, you actively work to stay aware of when other people around you are suffering.  Every time you take the time to support someone, you are sending out pratipaksha-bhavana into the world.  So much power!

Big hurts take time.  By practicing pratipaksha-bhavana, you are given many opportunities to remember the hurtful moment and actively work to heal from it.  Over time, the hurt begins to fade, but the good that you sent out into the world through your pratipaksha-bhavana lives on.  Now that’s what I call power! 

Until next time, 

Laura