Rethinking the Importance of Self-esteem
Yoga Sutra 2.6
Growing up, the goal of developing high self-esteem was embedded into my experience as a student, child, athlete. The appeal of developing a strong armor of self-esteem that protects you from the ups and downs of life is a very attractive ideal. When a person with high self-esteem messes up, they don’t beat themselves up. They assure themselves that they really are a ___ kind of person. (Fill in the blank.) I messed up, but I will learn from this valuable lesson.
In my real life however, I do not often learn my lesson and more often than not my mess-ups are far from one-time events. So a big, scary, dark question grows and begins to seep around my mind. Can person who doesn’t learn their lesson really call themselves a ___ kind of person?
Self-esteem research is actually just in its infancy. Ideas like self-worth and self-efficacy (self-confidence) are just now being studied. And with it, the perils of developing inflated self-importance. Maybe self-esteem isn’t clear-cut at all.
Yoga also has a take on this. Instead of developing a strong armor that protects you from the ups and downs of life, yoga speaks more of a life-jacket type approach. You bobble your way through the ups and downs, staying (somewhat) upright. Instead of assuring yourself that you are a ___ kind of person, yoga suggests that you assure yourself that you are a person. Human. And floating next to you, around you, with you, is all of humanity and beyond humanity. We are all in it together.
But isn’t this a bit wishy-washy? How do we grow and become better if we are just floating along? Yoga would say, the goal is not to slow the water down, or smooth the waves out, or to get out of the water. The goal is to notice the ups and downs, experience the ups and downs, feel the ups and downs. Yoga would say we don’t grow into our better self, we grow into our true self.
I appreciate being introduced to the idea that maybe self-esteem isn’t the end-all. Until next time, fellow humans!
Laura
